I can't stand you. You make my stomach turn.

Really. You do. I can't believe the way you act with her. As if i never even told you anything. You have no idea that i always catch you in the halls. I am invisible to you. You walk by with her and i sware it's like there isn't a person in the world around you other then her. I'm so tired of caring. I'm so disgusted by how you look at her. I kinda wish i had never met you. I wish you had never been in my class. I wish we had never exchanged words or smiles or laughs or looks. I wish i could look at your face and not feel anything like i feel now. I'm supposed to wait till you guys break it off or what the fuck? What do i do? I have no idea how to go about ignoring you. Its way too hard and to be honest it is the most painful thing ive ever tried to do. I don't even understand why. I barely know you. But i need you. You are all i wake up for in the morning. Your like my motivation for going to school. OHMYFUCKINGGOD. I don't believe how this is affecting me. Why? Why did it have to be you? And why did it have to be her?...

On a lighter note. Not a happier note but a less heavier one... This semester is almost over. Im itching for summer. Itching to be free from all these people. Dying for the blistering heat because i hate the cold. It's funny how the weather works with your emotions. Its kinda weird how the enviorment or the atmosphere can match your mood. COLD. I feel cold. I say things to people close to me and i care less how they feel afterwards. I don't care anymore. I'm so tired of trying to watch what i say around people when they are planning on getting in my fucking bussiness anyways. I just don't filter my thoughts anymore. The point of it i don't know... Why should i have to think the way people are comfortable with. No. You know what? Fuck that! I don't do that. I never used to do that and now ive let my guard down. Now i'm drowning in everybody elses feelings and it has been so fucking long since ive been able to breath. Since ive been able to come up for air. I guess everybody sees some holes in me or something. Cause lately theyve been doing all they can to dump their shit on me and fill 'em up. Please get out of my head and leave me alone. I don't need anymore on my plate. Jesus Christ Almighty.